grr

I find myself at a complete loss of words every once and awhile. It amazes me at the pain that we feel in this world.. Some we choose.. Some just happens. Maybe I'm always too negative but I just don't understand why people choose to do the things they know continually hurts them. Can't wrap my mind around that. Sometimes I try but lately I haven't been caring. Bad I know. I care.. I am no longer concerned. If only I could make choices for people. :) That would be great. My heart hurts.. really it does. I can actually feel peoples pain. Sometimes I wish I couldn't and maybe thats why I tell myself I don't care.. because I care too much. God continually amazes me and where He is directing my life. Where I was a year ago? Is like from here to California. The friends I had a year ago... they probably live in California now. I choose to Love God Daily and fail miserably when I try to do things on my own. I need Him. I need Him so badly.
Pain lives inside of me ... less often than it use too. (thanks to my husband) Its there tonight. Small but knocking.. I don't answer the door anymore. I let pain wait outside.. until it decides to go away. Its always better to sleep when you feel this way. Life has created this pain. Its the hurt of being lost.. in life.. and working way too much.. and just wanting to spend a week with people who really care. The type of people that call just to say hey, the kind of people you can pick up with after not speaking for 3 months and be in the same place that you left off. ... ok I'm done.. I'll be more chipper after more sleep

Meet me at The Shack...

I was reading a friends blog just a minute ago and I feel like I have completely failed speaking about the best part of my trip to Destin. It was finishing THE SHACK. Its an amazing book that has touched my soul. 

Mack is the main character and I think everyone can relate to his struggles at one point or another through out the book. I found myself feeling as though I was actually there with him in the Shack while he was talking with Papa, Jesus, and Sarayu. (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) I love how the writer portrays each one very separate but very together all at the same time. I can't spoil it. Because it is a must read. In fact. You need to go and buy it right now.... Find time to pick the book up.. but I need to warn you.. you must have an open mind to read the book.

Author: William P. Young

zack

ok I know I'm getting really bad. a whole week?! I took a short trip to Destin with my amazing cousin and we had a great time. Now its back to real life. I missed my hubby greatly! Its always nice to come home and know that you were missed!! Here is the best picture by far of the trip. I'll try to share more tomorrow.. but its late and I'm tired.. so here is my new love... Zack

Hip Hip Hoorrraaayy

YAY for BIRTHDAYs I have lots to talk about but it will have to be later. With some pictures.. just wanted to say.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! and i'll be sharing some pictures from a weekend full of fun!

Did What?

Ok so this week has been crazy. I started my part time job at the Jewelry store which is a good and bad. Good because its money.. Bad because, I WANT MORE BLING!!!! I know I know. I just love pretty things that sparkle. But whatever.. no day soon will I have new sparkly bling. I am very happy with the Bling I already have though. On to the next subject of the week... Spray Paint.. thats right Spray Paint. My mom has this iron patio set out on our porch and I was outside helping my dad do some work and I decided to spray paint one of the chairs silver.. WITH OUT ASKING!!!! So for the past 2 days I've been spray painting. 3 chairs yesterday, 1 the day before. Needless to say my fingers and arm are KILLING me. OH and I spray painted the goal post for the basketball court. Gosh, I'm a moron. Jeffrey GOT THE JOB!! I haven't been able to say anything because I wasn't sure who is reading this... but HE GOT THE JOB he applied for which is awesome! He starts Aug. 1st! YAY!! Well I don't really know what else there is to blog about.. Maybe I'll have something later today after I get done working... Till then.

Smile

All of the above picture were taken at the.... Beach!

All the below pictures were taken at Boone Hall Plantation.

These are just a few pictures I can share out of my 1000 that were taken.

It was a great trip and spent alot of great time with my Papa and Grandma Myrna.

I got a part time job that is bringing in some money which is great!

If I feel like it, I'll upload more later on.

four

OH yeah.. went to Boone Hall this morning. Above is NOT my picture. I'll be uploading those soon hopefully. But Wow it was so pretty. We are having a great time. At 7 a.m. this morning we were up moving around and getting ready. We arrived at Boone Hall at 8:45 they open at 8:30 so I was able to get my own really great shots of the trees leading up to the plantation. Pretty famous. Three movies were filmed there, North and South, The NOTEBOOK!!! and Queen. We toured the house after we went into the Butterfly House. Then we went on the trolley and rode around over 700 acres at one time the Boone Hall Plantation was over 4800 acres!!! HOLY CRAP it once sold for $55,000!!! Oh I really wish I could find a great plantation for $55k gosh. Oh the good ole days. Ha! Anyways, visiting Papa has been really great. However its actually been really depressing. He was involved in a chemical spill years before I was born.. he used to run miles and miles a day so he would naturally detox his body. Now that he is older and he injured his hip he can't run anymore. He is on lots of medicines which cause him to be SUPER nervous. The once laughing, joking, always smiling grandpa I knew is no more. I fight tears back as I look at Papa and don't actually "see" him anymore. It breaks my heart but I love him no less. He paces the floor and lays down like 20 times a day. I know he can doesn't have alot of control over himself, I personally think thats why he is anxious/nervous all the time. Anyways.. enough of that.. getting to sad typing about it. I know am fighting away the horrible smoking smell that is up my nose as I type. Now there are 2 smokers in the house and I have one room that I can hide in!!!! Pray that I don't have an attack. Any time I've been in a smoking house for more than 2 days.. I end up in the hospital. I miss my husband and my bed. But I wouldn't trade this for anything. I love my family..... which brings me to another depressing thing about this weekend... salvation.. are they even saved? My dad and I constantly bring it up but it seems as though its a none issue... pray for that too. I'll show you my pictures later. Happy 4th of July by the way!

Its off I go.

Ok I'm leaving. I'll be back sometime on Monday. I know I know. Its a long time to be gone. Jeffrey just got back from California and now I'm leaving. I really hate being away from him but he is very sweet about me leaving. He didn't know my Papa before all the medical things started to happen to him so its hard for him to go and sit for a weekend at papa's house. Its ok though. Hopefully Papa will be feeling alot better! We are trying to decide what exciting thing we are going to do while we are there. The beach is a given. But what next.... Oh my birthday is next week. Sunday actually. The Big 2-1. Doesn't really mean anything though. Because I'm not a drinker. And Jeffrey doesn't want me to drink so I won't. He is the "say so" of our little family and I'm going to listen. (not like me normally but I'm working on it) ok well hopefully the Internet will be up and working at papa's so I can still post. BBS. (Be Bloggin Soon)

Oh Baby Youuu Got What I Need

I'm leaving for a few days to head to South Carolina with my Daddy and brothers. This is going to be an interesting but great trip! I don't think I've ever gone on a trip with just my dad and brothers. So we are going to visit my dads dad, Papa. Needless to say I'm bringing along the camera and I am hoping for alot of photo opportunities. With the beach at my feet and Boone Hall around the corner.. Hopefully I'll get some pictures!!! As for the drive to South Carolina.. that will be unpredictable. 

I got a part time job today! Back at the Jewelry store where I used to work in Highschool.

 I love diamonds~have I ever mentioned that before?

                                                      

I think I'm starting to get the hang of the whole adding pictures thing.. Amy?? I hope I make this interesting enough. I probably blog like a diary instead of like I'm talking to people the more I re-read some stuff. Oh well. Your reading it, aren't you!? Another thing I love is movies.. Jeffrey and I have seen.... lets see.... 2 movies in less than a week. I've seen 3. I saw one movie twice. Oh and I love zebra print. I really do. The more I see it. The more I want it. Everywhere. A Rug. A Purse. A Pillow. A Chair. I'd even like it on my underwear.. haha  Sorry Lame But It Made Me Laugh. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU GOT WHAT I NEED.. I really don't know why that song is stuck in my head right now but its really bugging me. Hopefully soon I'll have a song that I can upload. Amy and Jeffrey wrote it. Now Jeffrey is just working with how to make it "full". Whatever that means. Its a musicians mind and that I don't have or have any knowledge about. Oh and.. I'm going to the Beach TWICE this month. Thats right. Since I haven't been anywhere in the last year. I'm making up for it. Once this week and then again in 2 weeks. What Now!

                                                          

Tudday

Today is another day.. and I'm super excited again today. There is just so much that I'm planning and really looking forward to doing. It looks like the month of July is going to be a good month! I hope! We will see what the next few weeks hold for us.
So last night..... I'm ready to fall asleep and (I know I know what your thinking get your minds out of the gutters) Jeffrey is WIDE awake. He starts picking at me.. Verbally and Physically. I start to get angry and tell him to LEAVE ME ALONE! I wanted to sleep. I was very tired!!! So I finally get to fall asleep... Only to wake up to him "rubbing my face with his hands". Which I can't stand.. I'm weird about my germs on my face. So I scream LET ME SLEEP. To which Jeffrey replys... Where is my sweet Jessy and Who are you??? I cracked a smile and said sweet Jessy is still sleeping.. LET ME SLEEP! (didn't happen) Oh well what can you do. I just woke up and count it as a loss. Oh well. More to come later.. Heading to take the brothers to see Walle!