I find myself at a complete loss of words every once and awhile. It amazes me at the pain that we feel in this world.. Some we choose.. Some just happens. Maybe I'm always too negative but I just don't understand why people choose to do the things they know continually hurts them. Can't wrap my mind around that. Sometimes I try but lately I haven't been caring. Bad I know. I care.. I am no longer concerned. If only I could make choices for people. :) That would be great. My heart hurts.. really it does. I can actually feel peoples pain. Sometimes I wish I couldn't and maybe thats why I tell myself I don't care.. because I care too much. God continually amazes me and where He is directing my life. Where I was a year ago? Is like from here to California. The friends I had a year ago... they probably live in California now. I choose to Love God Daily and fail miserably when I try to do things on my own. I need Him. I need Him so badly.
Pain lives inside of me ... less often than it use too. (thanks to my husband) Its there tonight. Small but knocking.. I don't answer the door anymore. I let pain wait outside.. until it decides to go away. Its always better to sleep when you feel this way. Life has created this pain. Its the hurt of being lost.. in life.. and working way too much.. and just wanting to spend a week with people who really care. The type of people that call just to say hey, the kind of people you can pick up with after not speaking for 3 months and be in the same place that you left off. ... ok I'm done.. I'll be more chipper after more sleep
1 comment:
You know, I also have the gift of empathy...where I can literally put myself in the place of the other person and experience their emotions. I have found, though, I just have to be really careful with it because although I do think its a God-given gift, it's also something that can bring me down to some very low places if I'm not careful.
It's a challenge to find that "centered" place, but I know you can do it! Hope you are feeling better and you know you can always call me!
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